Sometimes life takes you to funny places, and you find yourself in roles you never thought you would play.

For me, that role is the Good Military Wife.

My husband recently joined the Navy. Luckily for me, he joined as a reservist, but you still have to go through boot camp and other preliminary training. This past weekend, he graduated from boot camp. And thus, it was my "debut" as a military wife.

I played the role so well - I kept our friends and family up-to-speed on his progress throughout boot camp, I wrote him letters every day, hell, I did a pin-ups photoshoot at the wonderful Studio L'amour in Chicago. I did what I could to plan a weekend in which my number one priority was for him to enjoy himself (and get back to base on time at the end of each day). I wore thongs! And I even coordinated a whole weekend of outfits - he would be dressed up (in uniform), so I should be too!

I even got to meet four of the highest ranking officers on base, because of my husband's achievements during boot camp. And boy, did I play the polite wife role so well. "Nice to meet you" "haha" your joke was funny. Aren't I a pretty wife? (OK, and what does it mean that I had a sex dream about his captain last night?? Sorry ... random, but ... weird.)

But I can't get too snarky ... some of it isn't so much be a good wife as it is the fact that I work in PR and understand the importance of appearances.

But if you told me 5 years ago, when I was graduating from the urban college life, that I would put my own life on hold for my husband to pursue his goals, I probably would have kicked you or at least laughed in your face. Not just about putting a man first, but even being married by this point. [I thought I'd marry around maybe age 30 ... in reality I got married at 24. See what happens when you fall in love with a wonderful person!] Anyway ... here I am, not only making sacrifices, but picking out the perfect military wife dresses (have to match his dress whites!)


The military has a lot of rules. I am slowly learning them. (Google the Uniform Code of Military Justice, Article 125 for a truly hysterical rule. And that doesn't just apply to when he is in uniform - it applies until he is retired from service. You can guess how many people violate that article.)

Anyway, back to rules. My husband and I are very affectionate. But holding hands on base is discouraged (instead I take his arm, which is actually really sweet). Kissing on base is out of the question beyond a quick peck. Also, my husband respects the uniform. He had to be in uniform all weekend after graduation, so he was the perfect gentleman - opening doors for me (normally, we have the habit of whoever gets there first holds it), using "ma'am" and "sir" (well, he normally uses that). And just generally looking very attractive (there's just something about a uniform!) (But does it work both ways? Do guys/lesbians have the same reaction to a woman in a formal uniform? [I'm leaving something like a Hooters uniform out of this ...])



My husband hasn't been to our apartment in over 2 months. In a couple weeks, he'll get weekend leave and can come home. And you know what? I'm already planning to take that Friday off from work so I can clean the apartment and prepare a lovely meal for him. When did I become a little homemaker? Or is it that I know he's been sleeping in barracks and now a dorm, and eating mess hall food for 10 weeks, and will appreciate his own bed and home-cooked food.

But I've even been buying sexier underwear! Talk about being a Good Wife. Normally, I wear the comfy stuff - I'll even wear men's boxer briefs under skirts and dresses. Talk about sexy. So, somehow, wearing sexy underwear has become something "special." I'm not sure if I'm more bothered by the feeling that I should wear sexy underwear, or the fact that I don't do it regularly (I've actually found some comfy sexy underwear, believe it or not. Thank you mass retailers).


But it's funny how perspectives change as your life experiences change. I used to consider myself very independent, and I liked it, and wanted to keep it that way. But then I "met the right guy" and everything's different. I want to make him a nice dinner. I want to look sexy/attractive for him. I want to impress his bosses. I'm willing to make sacrifices for him. But I don't think that has anything to do with giving into some perceived gender roles. I think it's all about appreciating your partner, and doing things for them to support them, and show them you appreciate them, and do special things that might excite them. Love/marriage has definitely softened me. But that's not really a bad thing.


Besides .... I'm married to a man that wears a uniform!! So, he likes me in thongs ... I like him in his uniform!! Talk about the ultimate aphrodisiac. I'll stop now before I get graphic.


PS: Credit where it's due - the title of my post was borrowed from this book that I am currently reading: I Love a Man in Uniform: A Memoir of Love, War, and Other Battles by Lily Burana