Unboxedqueer is a label I gave myself to let people know that I hate labels. Despite the irony of it, it’s actually quite fitting. I have finally come to terms with the fact that in our society, we need labels. Everyone has to have something to identify as and with. We are so caught up on binaries such as black and white, positive and negative, true and false, and male and female; however, I am ready to accept a label. I have come to adopt the term “queer” as a gender. While accepting this “label,” I am unraveling the necessity for classification. When I use queer to define my gender, it still leaves fluidity in the picture, which is what I love about it. As I identify queer, I don’t have to feel so boxed in with identifications such as: lesbian, butch and femme, male or female. It just allows for more flexibility and I don’t feel so bound by the typical terms.

I have also been giving a lot of thought to the idea of standardizing a third gender into our society. I have thought a lot about the pros and cons of doing so, and worry that it would inhibit more people than it would help. I genuinely believe that while it would be nice to not have to check a box with an “m” or an “f”, it would unravel the bit of headway that trans people in the world have fought so hard for. I worry that it would push trans people into this “other” category, rather than allowing them to completely define as their desired gender. The only way I really see it working would be if claiming this third gender was optional for those who feel they do not fit into a male or female category, while still allowing trans individuals to choose sides. I just feel, however, that our society would want to group the whole LGBTQ community into this third gender and be done with it.

The controversy surrounding the idea of a third gender is whether it would be autonomous or mandatory. If choosing this third gender were to be mandatory, whom would it affect? The entire LGBTQ community? I am not sure anyone would want a choice so domineering. On the other hand, if it were arbitrary, it would link individuals to the freedom of having a label with no labels, which is what many people are seeking; a box with no lid, so to speak. There is also the contention of whether this would be a simple choice or require therapist validation, similar to what trans people face.

There is also a point in which Reece Kelly makes in his video, “Institutionalizing a 3rd Gender.” His point is simply to de-gender rather than incorporate this new idea of a third gender. I think there are many debates to both sides, however I agree a lot with Reece and feel that we need to fight harder to make gender less thought of by society, rather than trying to project another section into the already, too forced binary system. If we could just convey that gender doesn’t define anything, there would be no reason to augment this extra category.

There’s always some gray in the mix. Everything is not always as black and white as some people see it. There are always arguments to arguments and cons to pros. That’s why I feel that instead of adding blue to the black and white, we just need to swirl the two together to come up with our very lovely gray. So instead of male, female, and X, we’ll all just be gray and not feel the need to express what’s in our pants. We don’t have to be afraid to step outside of the box.

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