Coming Out Queer

The figure of speech, “coming out,” is like a new beginning. It’s like a queer birthday. It is the day you stand tall and proud and scream, “I am not ashamed of who I am.” For many of us, it is an on-going experience. Often times, we meet people and we just get that look of confusion. They can’t quite figure you out. It’s like the stranger is saying, “Ok, please define yourself for me.” That’s the moment you realize, “shit, I’ve got to find a box, put myself in it and give it to this stranger.”

I have come out so many times in my life. I have come out gay to my friends, my family, and complete strangers. I have come out trans to myself and then re-thought what that meant and decided I didn’t have the strength or courageousness for that path of life. I have come out queer and gender-neutral, androgynous and unisexual. I have come out gay and lesbian. I have declared myself butch and femme, boi and girl, but today, today I am coming out human.

The term, “coming out” has so many definitions, which for a lot of people, may mean they go down multiple paths. Some may go down one path and always remain on that path. Some people may go down a path and then backtrack to get onto another one. Some may get to the end of a path, only to start again on a different one, while others may walk in between multiple paths. The possibilities are endless; however, the point is that we are all human.

The paths we choose often lead us down many different roads. For anyone GLBTQ this means taking “different” steps than that of the “norm.” Everything we do is “altered” in some way. When we choose to start families, or look for jobs, or introduce our significant other to our families or even strangers, it always reiterates the fact that we’re queer. In our being “different” and “loving different” we live different. Therefore, we have to rely on our GLBTQ community to seek advice and trade stories of success and failure. I, among many others, am walking queer paths.

We all have rights and freedoms. We all have the ability to do what makes us feel “right” or “normal.” We control the words we say, and our thoughts are our own. We don’t have to choose a hypothetical box or specific path to follow. We just have to be comfortable with ourselves and let others choose whether or not to accept us. We were all given the opportunity to have a journey here on Earth and we, alone, have to make ourselves happy. We are responsible for making sure that this life we are in is the life we want to live. We don’t have to be afraid to step outside of the box.

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