Seldom does a day go by when I’m not asked “What is androgyny?” The truth is that over two years ago the concept of androgyny, as I know it to be now, was very foreign to me. While thought I knew what it was to be androgynous I never considered that androgyny could actually be a philosophy rather than just a term describing one’s seemingly ambiguous gender identity.

A couple years ago while studying in Rome everything changed. I stumbled upon this club advertising an androgyny night; I was curious so I decided to check it out. Who knew that that this decision would have such a catalytic impact on my life?

That night I met a diverse group of gender deviants who expressed themselves with the kind of comfort and security that I could only dream of at the time. Men and women both indulged in all sorts of gender bending behaviour: men wore make up and fashion accessories, women wore short cropped hair and bound their chests, and everybody comfortably transcended the gender norms that seem to keep most of us in check on a daily basis. Now this was not the first time that I had ever seen gender queer attitudes expressed so openly in a public setting, it was however the first time that I had realized that being gender queer had nothing to do with sexuality.

In grade school I was familiar with gender bending behavior like cross-dressing, gender play, and crying at Barbara Streisand movies, but like most uneducated children I had always thought that such things were unique to the gay community (now I can laugh at how wrong I really was.) During my adolescence I felt such a need to fit in that I did not hesitate to play up the hetero-normie card for the sake of keeping up appearances. The funny thing about keeping up appearances is that you’re never truly happy with yourself because you’re constantly worried about saying or doing something that will reveal you as the freak that you are.

Well my friends, we’re all freaks; every single one of us is a freak and it’s about time we come to terms with if we ever want to move on enjoy our lives. Normies are freaks like the rest of us, the difference is that they are willing to play a part for the sake of fitting in with the good old boys (or girls). I know what it’s like to be a “normie”, and I’ll tell you that there’s nothing great about it unless you enjoy walking around with your nose up in the air like a self righteous prick. We should never look at people who are daring enough to be themselves against the odds, we should follow their example.

Androgyny is not about boys wearing skirts or girls wearing pants, it’s about people not feeling the need to pretend to be something they’re not. So do yourselves a favor and be the person you want to be regardless of what the old men in penguin suits say you should be. Keeping up gender appearances is a frivolous waste of time. We’re all just people anyway, isn’t it about time we act like it?

In my last post I quoted some lyrics from Madonna's "What it Feels like for a Girl." Thankfully one of our readers quickly pointed out that the quote is originally from a book called "The Cement Garden" by Ian McEwan. I have yet to read it myself, however it is certainly on my list. Thanks Harri.